Why Seek My Services
Because there are thousands of self help books out there, there are thousands of fitness & diet regimes out there, there are thousands of "how to programs" many commercial ads & media that tell us daily we are broken, we are shamed for being too big, too thin, too feminine, too masculine, too sexual, too frigid, the list goes on and on. Well how about being ENOUGH NOW...we are not broken, we are "out of touch". I have lived my life feeling not enough and broken and here I am now, as you see me ENOUGH and finally IN TOUCH with my Authentic Sexual Self. Let me show you how to get there as well!
I have fucked up…at 43 I have fucked up so many times in my life. I am by societies standards fat, I am impulsive, I have a mouth of a truck driver, I act instinctively and not on any “set” rules. I’ve tried to conform, conforming to what is expected of me has never been my strong suit. I have sat down and journaled thousands of times from 11 years old up to 43 years old to “pinpoint’ what exactly is “wrong” with me. Broken in all sought of ways, in trouble for not following the rules, falling in love with the “wrong” people at the absolute worst times trying to fill some kind of “void” I am constantly doing the opposite of what’s to be expected from a me, struggling to fit, to be a “good girl”. All of the would be mistakes the fuck ups, my broken fits of rage, hurt, lashing out, a life time of feeling; never good enough, never skinny enough, never pretty enough, regardless of my exterior are the very things that have brought me to this point, to do the work i'm doing now! I know I’m not alone here. I have spoken to hundreds of women between owning a hair/tanning salon in my 20's women's fitness studio in my 30's. I’ve heard story after story that sound all too familiar to mine only the names & certain variables change but the “feeling” is the same. The cry for self-acceptance can be heard from miles away to those that listen, “why am I never good enough?”
As a Plus Sized women I can say we are often seen as; the cute friend, the funny girl, one of the guys, the wife of 10+ years, the mother, the grandmother etc... We are seen in “love your body” ad campaigns. You see us naked, natural hair flowing with one arm folded over our breasts, other arm over our protruding belly, and for artistic effect often done in a black and white filter. These are truly beautiful ad campaigns. This is where you see “us” we can be found “here” promoting body confidence to sell a family friendly product. You NEVER see us portrayed as the erotic, sensual, creatures that we truly are. It is perfectly natural in western culture to see a size 0 “brand specific” model that is between the ages of 18-24 years old with double D fake, perky breasts, 1 inch thigh gap strolling down a TV runway selling bras and panties but when the industry giant for plus size clothing/lingerie (size 12+) promotes body confidence ads networks refuse to air them if they show too much skin. To me that sends a strong message to women of ALL ages, especially when the national average for the American women IS in fact a size 14, height 5’4. This screams YOUR BROKEN, and billions of dollars are being invested to “BREAK US” so we pay hundreds of “dollars” a year personally out of our pockets to be fixed. Meanwhile, we are destroying our self-esteem, self-acceptance and constantly seeking for something outside of ourselves to soothe the pain we feel, we search for anything or anyone to help us fill the hole inside our souls, anything that temporarily can fill the void just like an addict seeking to get that one quick fix.
I recently read a phrase somewhere that went along the lines of; you change when you live. To live my change I had to really look inside and PULL out a the dark side of myself, the one I was afraid was not “good enough” I needed to reveal her as she “was” in the moment not 10, 20 30 pounds from now, but now, fat, cellulite, stretch marks, naked, the beast inside screaming to unleash her erotic feminine being “as is” nothing holding her back…not only did I pull the bitch out…I stripped her down to practically nothing and threw her to the wolves! What I found during the process was incredibly healing. Zandra Lee was born that day exploiting herself along with her erotic “selfie art” and she is ME!
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Adult Toys have been an amazing aspect to my sexual exploration. Check out the thousands of items in my store. If you have any direct question feel free to email for help.